Bad Teacher [Review by Haus]

The big surprise with Bad Teacher is that it’s really not that bad.

Directed by Jake Kasdan (whose other credits include Walk Hard and Orange County) Bad Teacher is pretty much what you’d expect — a throwaway R-rated comedy complete with now-requisite bathroom jokes. There’s nothing amazing here, but then if you’re laying down a ten spot to see this film, chances are you’re not looking for much.

Cameron Diaz plays Elizabeth Halsey, a gold-digging high school teacher who’s just hooked the big fish and triumphantly left her job. But when her fiance dumps her, she’s broke, single (duh) and forced to teach. For real.

Now, this premise could have been taken a number of different ways; most predictably, Halsey could come to appreciate the kids and coworkers she’d formerly snubbed and learn some valuable life lesson or another.

Not here. Halsey stays true to character and stalks the halls — bitter, oozing contempt, and searching for a new sugar daddy. She rejects the frequent advances of a nice-guy gym teacher (Jason Segel, who basically plays Peter Bretter from Forgetting Sarah Marshall — this is not a bad thing), and clashes with her OCD and Splenda-sweet coworker Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch of Take Me Home Tonight, Hot Fuzz and Dinner For Schmucks — that’s three solid movies right there — who I just now learned was also the blonde in the Grindhouse trailer “Don’t”). Halsey also throws herself at new teacher and trust fund baby Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake), mainly on the strength of his Jaegre-LeCoultre. Unable to land Scott straight away and driven to extremes to score a pricy set of breast implants, Halsey concocts a series of illicit schemes to make some extra bones. (Halsey eventually hears that the state tests are coming up, and that the teacher whose students score highest gets a cash bonus. This film nicely dodges another chance to go wholesome by using this as a vehicle for more bad girl antics.)

So that’s the schtick. Halsey doesn’t care about her students, she hates her coworkers (except the clearly rich one), and her life isn’t great. She’s a self-interested, materialistic “hot girl” who’s jaded and sporting worn-down Louboutins but sticking to her guns. Hilarity ensues.

And it pretty much does, thanks mainly to the supporting cast. Diaz is good, and clearly enjoying herself hamming it up as the couldn’t-care-less bad kid. But much of the best material belongs to Segel and Punch. The always entertaining and under-appreciated Thomas Lennon is a win, as is John Michael Higgins (who I can never watch without thinking of Best in Show). New-to-me Phyllis Smith is terrific as a mousy coworker who’s also Halsey’s occasional pseudo-confidante. Justin Timberlake doesn’t do much for me. (I was going tether this comment to his performance here, but I think I’ll just leave it as a free-standing truth statement.)

One thing about Bad Teacher stood out in particular: It stays true to its title, meaning Halsey stays true to her self-seeking nature. Once I’d passed that initial comedy hump and established that this in fact would be a watchable movie, I spent much of its runtime dreading Halsey’s softening and inevitable awakening to the hidden worth of her coworkers. Refreshingly though, this never really came. Sure, she has a couple of nice girl moments — a little humor wrung from each, bien sur — but they’re few and far between. And she struts out of the film more or less the way she came in: She hasn’t surrendered her cynical charm just to give us a happy ending.

This might bother some viewers, since it also means that Halsey remains a particularly unsympathetic anti-hero. She’s selfish, crude, and mean. You’d hate her in real life, but she’s fun to watch. (Hey, I was raised on Murphy Brown.)

Bottom line: This isn’t The Hangover. (This isn’t even The Hangover Part II.) It isn’t Hot Tub Time Machine, Old School, or Anchorman. It isn’t a great comedy. It’s a decent comedy. And if you’re thinking of seeing it, that’s probably enough.

HAUS VERDICT: Won’t set any records, but consistently amusing — if you’re in the mood for some quick laughs and a break from life, it’s worth a watch. 

See what the other half thinks: Parsi’s Review.