Two months before Halloween and it’s horror movie spinoff season already? Bring it on, I’m not complaining. Or at least I wasn’t, until I saw Blair Witch. In advance of Rings and Ouija: Origin of Evil expected later this fall, we are first greeted with the latest sequel to the terror genre game-changer and insta-classic The Blair Witch Project.
Ah 1999, when from the view of an orbitoclast we were all treated to a sniveling, pale face whispering, “I’m so sorry!” When shaky cameras running through the woods became terrifying. When high-waisted and belted jeans weren’t just reserved for soccer moms. When they tried to get us to believe that a film crew actually disappeared while venturing into the Maryland woods to track down and document a legend—a witch that makes people do terrible things.
The Blair Witch Project pioneered the found footage genre when I was young enough
to need an adult to accompany me to an R-rated film (thanks again, sis) but old enough to know that what I was witnessing would change scary movies forever. I’ll never forget walking out of the theater, blinking into the afternoon sunlight, wondering how on earth I was just kept terrified beyond belief for an entire hour and a half without a single scary creature passing across the screen–in fact, with essentially nothing happening at all. Since then, filmmakers have fully overdone their found footage fanaticism, from every iteration of Paranormal Activity, to sci-fi takes like Cloverfield.
The Blair Witch Project legacy suffered the usual tragic sequel attempts—one? Two? Who even remembers, and let’s be honest, they weren’t even worth the time it takes to Google them. But the trailer for Blair Witch looked different. It promised to harken back to the simplicity of the original film—when a few kids with a camera could floor the movie industry and snap its high-cost competition in two like tiny people-sculptures made of twigs.
In this latest sequel, Blair Witch picks up fifteen years after the original main character, Heather Donahue (played by herself of course), disappeared. Heather’s brother James is on a mission to find his sister, who he believes is still alive in the woods. When he comes across a YouTube video of footage discovered in that same forest, he sees an image he believes to be Heather, gathers his closest friends, and heads into the tree-filled hills to find her. Why the cameras? That’s easy: his friend and love interest, Lisa, is a documentary film student. Duh.
Blair Witch then plods through equally-oafish plot foundations, 
and adds to the mix the local Maryland couple who found the latest video and promises to take the group to where it was discovered. You grimace through the bad acting and the cheesy attempts at laughs until the crew’s first night in the woods, and that’s when you realize that the film is no different from its failed siblings.
It struggles so hard to stick to the original by not disintegrating into cheap CGI-based special effects, but it falls far short. Where the original succeeded in setting an eerie atmosphere and maximizing situational terror, Blair Witch delves quickly and frequently 
into unnecessary and annoying jump scares, and bludgeons its main special effect—thundering sound—to death.
Perhaps what’s most unfortunate is that this film had all the makings of being great, of taking us back to 1999 when concepts could scare more than graphics. When you didn’t actually have to see what you’re running from to be afraid of it. When the simple image of the back of a man standing, facing a corner, could give you nightmares for days. More time sitting around drumming up brain-burning images like that and less time with the sound mix
er could have done Blair Witch a lot of good.
In today’s world of smartphones and affordable, accessible, special effects, is it impossible to craft a quality found footage film? Are the temptations to delve into every horror cliché too strong? I really don’t think so. The Ring didn’t need a ton of sophisticated special effects to create a brief VHS tape plucked right from a nightmare, and creators like James Wan have proven that caked-on makeup can remind us how scary horror can be when it actually looks touchable.
There were a few creepy-scary moments throughout Blair Witch that I did like, and a few more “aha” moments toward the end that effectively loop back to earlier in the film and even to memories of the original. Unfortunately, these springs of possibility were drowned out by floods of sound, flickering flashlights, and the whimpers of struggling actors.
SpecialK Verdict: If you’re thirsty for Halloween-time terror in this parched desert of a summer horror filmscape–see Don’t Breathe. Then maybe see Blair Witch. Maybe. But don’t expect to like it.
Blair Witch opens Friday, September 16.
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