Crawl [Review by SpecialK]

If you were to ask me, “SpecialK, oh wise and generous horrorista, in your humble and unerring opinion, what makes a scary movie great?” I’d graciously explain that the secret to a good horror film is no secret at all. It’s simply tried-and-true storytelling: a careful mix of tight plot and engaging story arc, satisfying and lasting scares, acting that immerses you in the film, and something new and different that your audience doesn’t expect. And then I’d explain, young apprentice, that some films defy all logic, ignore all formulas, and still leave us blindly cheering for their triumphant success. Crawl, dear readers, is exactly this type of film.

Set in the state that alone could fuel the internet’s supply of memorable memes and hilarious headlines for decades to come, Crawl opens as Haley, a young University of Florida swim star, is sent by her sister to check on their father a few hours south—with a hurricane bearing down, he’s newly-divorced, alone, and hasn’t answered his phone.  We learn a few things about Haley pretty quickly: she’s smart, she’s resourceful, and we aren’t likely to see her hair dry out for the entirety of the film.  But when Haley reaches her father and his trusty pup Sugar, there’s a problem, and it’s not just the rising typhoon-fueled flood waters, or the fact that he’s already injured: it’s that there’s a beast in the waters threatening Haley’s nickname of Apex Predator. That’s right, there’s a gator to contend with.

Right off the bat I do have to admit that the timing of this film isn’t the most tasteful. Although no one could predict a tropical storm like Barry would come along during Crawl’s opening weekend and break flood records that have been in place since 1950, releasing a film like this in the middle of hurricane season isn’t exactly wise—but I digress.

The film also fails on many of the points above. It has plotholes you could swim a gator through and scientific suppositions that could go viral on any “fake news” outlet these days. The dialogue is laughable at times, and the computer graphics on the gator itself definitely take you out of the film.  

However, as the great Kobayashi Issa said: “This world of dew, is a world of dew, and yet, and yet.” Yes, this film is not excellent or groundbreaking horror on any level. You have to suspend, well, a lot of things actually—belief, reality, your own survival instincts—to actually enjoy it. And yet, and yet, it’s still a total blast and an underdog of a film that I staunchly support.

First, the scares are fun. Whether it’s bone-crunching, tourniquet-twisting gore, claustrophobia, bodies of water where you can’t see the bottom, gasping one last breath before being overtaken by water, good old classic big-animal jump scares, the idea of open wounds in murky water (necrotizing fasciitis, anyone?), or the thought of being forced to confront emotional familial relationships in a confined space—whichever of these scares gets to you, Crawl’s got you covered. By the end of the film, you’ve squirmed, you’ve laughed, you’ve cheered—it’s got it all.

Plus, the acting and character development aren’t exactly the strongest—and yet, there’s something that has me really loving Kaya Scodelario’s portrayal of Haley: tough and gritty, yet vulnerable and flawed. Similarly, I simply love seeing Barry Pepper on the screen and it takes me back to his sniper days (I keep waiting for him to say “I wouldn’t venture out there fellas—this gator’s got talent”).

Then there’s that refreshing release you feel when you realize how little Crawl takes itself seriously. I got that same feeling when I first saw The Shallows: that joyful peace rising up from childhood memories of catching the latest summer blockbuster, when all you cared about was whether the dog makes it out alive and how satisfying the death of the alligator will be, never mind the character arcs or the scientific reality of it all.

So in the end, is Crawl a great horror film according to any traditional definition? I’d have a hard time saying yes. Is it well-made? Kind of. But would I recommend it? Ladies and gents, in staunch defense of all the underdogs of the world, to that I have to answer with an unabashed, resounding, “Yes.”

SpecialK Verdict: See it on the big screen this summer. Suspend belief. Have a blast.

Crawl opens everywhere Friday, July 12.

Never miss a review — sign up for email updates to the right, follow us on Twitter, or like The Parsing Haus on Facebook!