Larry Crowne [Review by Haus]

I didn’t much like Larry Crowne.

Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts star in this strange little tale about a middle-aged, retail-working square whose dead-end but cheerful life is turned upside down when he’s fired. Hanks was a Navy man, you see, so he never went to college — and his lack of “educational background” precludes him from ever becoming “front office” material at U-Mart. He enrolls in his local community college and takes “Speech 217,” a meaningless gut taught by Julia Roberts. She’s fed up with her life and married to the wrong guy. Cue the fun music. Very little hilarity ensues as this surprisingly flat rom-com / dramedy unfolds to its predictable end. Some life lessons are learned, some supposed fun is had, and everyone involved tries desperately hard to make scooters seem really, really hip.

The big problem is that I didn’t buy any of it. I didn’t buy the Hanks-Roberts relationship at all. Hanks plays the standard nice guy with not much to offer, and I suppose he’s meant to win Roberts over with his goofy authenticity and down-home integrity. But I never saw much reason for her to like him, or (looks aside) for him to like her.

Hanks is almost Forrest Gump-ish here, a bit too happy go lucky, and once he starts at the college things go right for him altogether too fast. Hanks the actor does well when he’s given some depth to explore, but strangely he’s left himself none here (and not for lack of opportunity — he co-wrote and also directed). An example: We learn that Crowne is divorced, and bought out his wife’s share of the house with a big loan. Presumably there’s a story there — something that could have given the titular character some depth, some meaningful emotional texture. This thread, like many others, is present but never pursued.

There is a story to be told here, of course — of a man cut deep by downsizing and forced gradually to rebuild his life and reevaluate his priorities — but that’s not what this movie does. (If you want that, see the much better and more somber The Company Men.)  Hanks coasts through this picture like a tourist on a bus tour, ever-cheery and lightly titillated as the wonders scroll past outside.

An unrealistic and too-beautiful supporting cast welcomes him into their unrealistic and too-cool world immediately and for no obvious reason. They then start doing things for him: Rearranging his furniture (Feng Shui!), cutting his hair (update that look!), fixing his wardrobe (new threads!), and so on. Why are they so friendly, so welcoming? None of it rings true. And why should we respect Crowne when all his major transformations are simply done to him? His whole makeover from total square to quirky-cool square plays like an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, with the same caveat: Once the Fab Five depart, how will he sustain it?

The subject matter and scope had me ready for an indie-type experience, which Larry Crowne delivers but in all the wrong ways. Sure, it’s slow, quirky and takes a stab at including real relationship problems (porn! divorce!) — but it isn’t believable, emotionally meaningful, poignant or realistic. It lacks grit, heart. It’s a surprisingly shallow and rote rom-com dressed up as something more. If you’re going to make your main character a gee-whiz everyman, you’d better give him some realistic problems to deal with, or at least surround him with semi-realistic people. (Just think how wretched Win Win would have been if, instead of a flawed, struggling, and imperfect lawyer, Giamatti had played a borderline-stupid eternal optimist for whom everything continually worked out. Yeah, no one wants to see that.)

I think what bothers me most about Larry Crowne is its title: Naming a film after its main character suggests that there’s some reason to do so, some there there. That the character is memorable, special, unique. A true character. Larry Crowne isn’t anything special. He’s your stereotypical middle-aged white American square who gets taken by the hand and led into a new, cooler world. (The most Hanks ever does to build a unique personality here is to include Crowne’s thrice-exhibited habit of saying “SpecTAKlur” — for “spectacular,” see? So quirky!) This film would have been better off named “An Unrealistic Term in Community College,” or maybe “Gee Whiz, I’m Ultra Boring — But Everything Goes My Way.”

It has some high points — Roberts is watchable here, and George Takei is specTAKlur in a brief turn as Crowne’s econ professor. But on the whole I just didn’t buy any of these relationships, and without real struggle or effort there’s no satisfaction when things magically improve.

People who have been downsized, maligned for never having gone to college, or who otherwise identify with this subject matter may find themselves drawn to what they hope will be an uplifting and resonant little slice of modern Americana. But they will find here only an empty fairy tale that didn’t need to be told.

HAUS VERDICT: A feel-good whitewash so unrealistic it falls flat: Indie-esque subject matter, but lacking depth, grit, realism or emotional resonance.

See what the other half thinks: Parsi’s view.