There’s something in the air this summer. No, it’s not romance, and no, it’s not the stench of your hippie neighbor’s compost heap. It’s something that makes a woman want to take a seat with a sigh, crack open a cigarette case, light one up, and place it in the corner of her mouth. If it had a soundtrack, it would start with Labrinth’s “Mount Everest” before easing into Ariana Grande’s “7 Rings,” followed by Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts,” and wrapping up with Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy.” It wears Converse sneakers and its eyeliner is smeared. It is satisfaction and independence personified. You can think whatever you want about it because in the end it doesn’t really give a f*** what you think. And if it were a movie, that film would be Ready or Not.
From the creators who gave us surprisingly quality B+ material like V/H/S and Devil’s Due, Ready or Not opens with what is believed to be the happiest day of a person’s life: their wedding day. Grace is set to marry Alex Le Domas, her boyfriend of 18 months and heir of the Le Domas gaming fortune. After the vows are exchanged and champagne glasses are clinked, the couple is set to retire to their wedding bed. But wait, there’s one final task for the day—a simple game to play with the in-laws. The 
bride draws a card to choose the game, and everyone is ready to go. According to Alex, it’s family tradition, and Grace is eager to please her in-laws, who she barely even knows. But as expressions fall and the laughter stops, the game turns dark and Grace finds herself caring less about pleasing Alex’s family and more about making it out alive by dawn.
Ready or Not is textbook excellent storytelling. The character development is supreme, the plot unfolds carefully, and despite what you might think you know from watching the trailer, the story twists and turns in a way that leaves you guessing until the end. Kudos to the editors for pacing that hits the spot. On top of all this technical mastery, the acting is also stellar, which is perhaps to be expected from the likes of Henry Czerny, Andie MacDowell, and Samara Weaving, the niece of V and Agent Smith himself.
As a horror movie, Ready or Not is also a blast. The scares are fun, the blood and gore abound, and if you don’t 
find yourself cringing in at least three different scenes, you’re simply not human. But to smooth it all out, the film spreads across the top a healthy serving of humor and hyperbole—and that’s where it really shines. You see, in much the same way Schitt’s Creek wins by poking fun at the rich, Ready or Not is a hilarious caricature of old money—the silver spoon types who tie up their wealth in careful business investments and tax shelters just so that the next generation is able to do the same, and so on and so on. And just like any good caricature, the film’s jabs fall just short of offensive, allowing the subjects themselves – the rich, Trump, politicians, in-laws, religious types, insert your favorite rich villain here – to sit in the audience, chuckling along with their seatmates.
And at the center of it all – the storytelling, the acting, the scares, and the humor – is a fierce and fearsome main character written with your absolute favorite badass woman in mind. Perhaps fittingly for 2019, she looks around and wonders what sort of trash fire she’s found herself in, sucks it up, and transforms. Mount Everest ain’t got shit on her, cause she’s on top of the world. She just took a DNA test, turns out, she’s 100% that bitch. Who woulda thought it’d turn her into a savage? She’s a bad guy. Duh. So crank up your summer soundtrack, and join me in a toast to Ready or Not, a film that bodes well for the future of feminist horror.
SpecialK Verdict: Simply satisfying. See it. Love it. Repeat.
Ready or Not opened everywhere Wednesday, August 21.
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