In 1969, half a century before the Hart mothers and decades before Susan Smith, Dr. Phillip Resnick opined that there were five main causes of filicide – the killing of one’s own child. These included altruism (killing them to save them), psychosis (no clear motive), fatal maltreatment (they didn’t mean to kill them), unwanted child (speaks for itself), and as if all of those weren’t painful enough, spousal revenge—I’m sorry, what? I mean I’m not about to argue that the four preceding types make much rational sense to me either, but the motive that seems the most heartless and tragic is the one that has nothing to do with the children at all. And perhaps this is exactly why the legend of La Llorona—the weeping woman—has stuck around for centuries.
There have been many variations of her story through the years, but most involve a 
woman in Mexico upset with a man for cheating on her or leaving her or some other romantic reason (hell hath no fury, etc.). So as a result, she then drowns the children they had together. Realizing what she’s done, she’s devastated, and left doomed to haunt the Earth crying for her lost “hijos,” hunting for more children to claim. Many a kid over the years has been warned to stay inside at night, to keep away from the river, and to be good, otherwise La Llorona will get you.
I mean come on, terrifyingly twisted, right? And with director Michael Chaves—the mastermind behind Billie Eilish’s “Bury a Friend” video—at the helm of the film, The Curse of La Llorona could not be more poised for success, right? I thought so as well. But whatever culturally significant, deeply nostalgic magic this film could draw upon is quashed by what has unfortunately become the Hollywood horror box office machine.
The film begins by outlining the original Mexican legend in 1873, then cuts to a century later, when a feather-haired, bell-bottomed Anna Tate-Garcia (Linda Cardellini) is trying to keep her family afloat in the wake of the death of her police officer husband. Given her job as a social worker, this is no easy task, and she’s drowning in responsibility. One late night takes her to the house of one of her cases, in which a woman seems to be mistreating her two sons. But Anna learns that the situation is not what it seems, that darker forces are at play, and that her own family is about to fall prey to them as well. Can she keep her children safe? Will the Catholic Church lend a hand? Will Mexican traditions save the day?
In all honesty, it’s not a poorly made film. The pacing is good, the scares are consistently jumpy, and the acting is 
quite tolerable (with the exception of the young actress who plays Anna’s daughter Samantha, but there I blame casting, or even the writers—she’s a bit too tough to be a believably scared little girl). In any event, you ultimately walk away feeling satisfied, but at same time, quite unimpressed.
And there’s the beef. In an admittedly bold attempt to reach an undeniably booming portion of the U.S. population by evoking the nostalgia of abuela’s ghost stories, the filmmakers seem to have forgotten to do much else. It’s as if they smashed together and averaged out all the films in The Conjuring universe to determine the lowest common denominator of a plot, then slathered that wireframe of a story arc with the powerful legend of La Llorona, 
hoping it would speak for itself. Finally, they sprinkled on top a few handfuls of glittery cultural and religious symbolism just to prove they know their audience. Ultimately, much like a school project forgotten until the night before, this lazy mess-terpiece is complete, but it falls well short of an A.
I get the sense that this isn’t Chaves’ fault. He’s proven he can handle dark and different quite deftly. No, I point my finger squarely at the production companies. And to them I say, if you want to take on a cultural legend, don’t hold back. Don’t hyphenate and whitewash your main character just because you’re worried the non-Mexicans in the audience won’t empathize. Don’t expect me to jump yet again at the same scares you’ve already included in every prior film. And for crying out loud, go dark, go different, and go big.
SpecialK Verdict: The Curse of La Llorona isn’t terrible, but it’s far too formulaic and lazy to be a success. Honestly, you’d have a much better experience asking your abuela about the real legend instead.
The Curse of La Llorona opens everywhere Friday, April 19.
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